Did I send in that yearbook check? Did I remember to pack her Gatorade for soccer practice after school? Are his uniform shirts getting too tight? Am I dropping off or picking up for the homecoming dance? Then all of a sudden, you’re taking pictures with your high school graduate towering over you in a crowded gymnasium. How did those 18 years go by so quickly and what on earth is your baby going to do without you in the upcoming fall?
These emotions are completely and totally normal for this new phase of parenting as you are now making the role transition from “manager” to “mentor.” So here are some research-based approaches to best prepare your student to officially “leave the nest” and become an independent and successful member of society.
1) Establish expectations that you have for your child, and have an open and low-stress conversation with both parents or caregivers. Along with those expectations, there also needs to be a conversation about consequences if these expectations are not upheld. Here are the talking points that you will want to cover:
- Grades/internships
- Weekly Budgeting/Job/Loans
- Extra-curricular activities/sports/church/clubs/Greek Life
2) Spend the summer having your graduate do a test-run at daily life skills, while you are still physically present as a form of training wheels.
- Cleaning and putting away their own laundry/dishes
- Grocery shopping/creating meal plans/cooking
- Calling and scheduling doctor/DMV/any necessary appointments
3) Help your child learn how to get help if needed while they are away
- Make sure they have medical insurance card and explain how to check to see if your health insurance is accepted at places around campus
- Make sure your child has their car insurance card in the glove box, and understands how to call road-side assistance in an emergency, how to change a tire, and how to jump off a dead battery
- Look into campus mental health counselors available in the event of a crisis if they feel uncomfortable reaching out to you about it
These tips will not only help your child feel more capable to handle these large upcoming responsibilities, but it will also create a peace of mind for Mom and Dad. Remember, you’ve worked so hard for this moment, and although it’s unlikely your teen is going to appreciate all of that while they are still under your roof, after a few months away, they will be seeing things in a whole new light. Make sure to instill your confidence in their abilities, but let them know that they will always be your baby. We are praying for this new chapter for both you and your graduate! ——- Kylee 💛
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